Nominees for New Economic Development Director

Alright…Gov. Culver Dorfman is in trouble…

Everywhere he looks there is red ink…

Debt…

Not enough money to pay the bills…

And now a scandal has embroiled the entire Department of Economic Development…

It looks like they were more focused on ripping off the Iowa taxpayer rather than worrying about the 100,000+ Iowans that don’t have a job…

Gov. Culver Dorfman asked his Economic Development Director to resign…and he did…which leaves a job opening…

He has a born lucky liberal named Hubbell to fill in for awhile…until a regular director is found…

So..I thought it would be good to share with you my suggestions for this important new director for Gov. Culver Dorfman…from bottom to top…

The Top 5 Candidates

5. Mr. Doug Gross, Des Moines, Republican

Doug Gross The Former Managing Partner of the Brown Winick Law Firm just might be looking for a new gig…

He is a good, safe pick for the governor…

It might do Culver Dorfman well to pick a Republican now with this brewing scandal…bad economy…and election looming on the horizon..

And The Former Managing Partner of the Brown Winick Law Firm is probably a perfect pick…after all…he is all over the news telling anyone that will listen that all anybody should talk about is jobs and the economy…

What better Republican to pick than a big mod, poser Catholic that beats up Republicans for having any principled stands on matters of morality…

But..who am I to talk…

I run a damn brothel..

If you don’t like Doug…how about this one…

 

4. Ms. Courtney Maxwell Greene, Des Moines, Democrat

This is another safe pick…

No question this chick is loyal…and she desperately could use a pay raise right about now…

And let’s face it…with a husband under federal indictment…

And being the drunk dial bond girl for Democratic state reps…she knows her way around the law and dealing with investigations…

After all…probably a conflict anyways for her to be the lead press chick for the Department of Public Safety when a division of that same department is conducting an investigation of her drunk dial buddy, Rep. Kerry Burt of Waterbooze…

So…a change of scenery would be good for Courtney..and by now..Gene Meyer has to be dying to get rid of her…

This will also allow her more time to go drink with Mari Culver and Erin Kiernan…this makes everybody happy…

Now…if you think she is not qualified…try this one on for size…

 

3. Wes Enos, Altoona, Republican

I know…I know…

I have a thing about making fun of men that attach propellers to hats they wear..I can’t help it…

But look…right now Bob Vander Plaats is the top Republican in the polls…Culver could pick his Campaign Manager Wes Enos (pictured in Dorfman gear) and throw a real destabalizing blow to his campaign…

Enos is a past county candidate…has management experience..is a Republican….and bears an uncanny resemblance in that outfit to Gov. Dorfman…

In fact..it looks like “Little Dorfman” has 8 ideas to get started…just look at his fingers…

Could be a real match…

 

2. Patty Judge, Des Moines, Democrat

Patty Judge was briefly considered as a candidate to be Director of Economic Development but is disqualified from further consideration because of her duties as Governor, Chief of Staff, Budget Director, head of emergency management, and Mom.

But…

She does look swank in that pirate hat…

Or is that a pilgrim hat…

She probably got that from some Hollywood dude that got a free Mercedes from Iowa taxpayers…

 

2. Chuck Larson, West Des Moines, Republican

Another potential Republican pick…

But this one makes a ton of sense…

All Gov. Dorfman needs to do is look around at his team…who does he have advising him that knows about the programs…what is going on…and find the right person…

Promote from within!

Chuck Larson is a former Republican legislator and former Republican Party Chair…he and his partner, Republican operative Karen Slifka are already on the payroll of the Iowa Department of Economic Development working on job attraction initiatives like this one…

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck!

It just may be time for Dorfman’s favorite Republican to get another government job…again…

 

1. John Edwards, Raleigh, NC, Democrat

I know what you are thinking…

John Edwards…

Al…

WTF? Where did that come from??

Well…the guy is unemployed…

Probably open to moving…

Has a very tight relationship with First Lady Mari Culver…

Seems to like Iowa…spent a lot of time here…

And what an opportunity for Chet Culver to grow Iowa…

Edwards can bring both families here…and live in bliss…

Can’t go wrong with this pick…

 

There’s the picks…if you have ideas…offer them up….

There’s no question Culver Dorfman could use your help…

Al…